Day 15: The Fertility: What new ideas or projects want to grow in you?
Cards: 5 of pentacles, Strength Rx, and Queen of Cups: A project where I put my concerns for being the leader or the boss aside, and lead instead with my emotions in service of others.
I’m trying to improve being a bit more succinct in the way I combine meanings and cards together. Sometimes it feels really easy (like this reading) and sometimes it seems almost impossible. Always good to keep trying! Even when it doesn’t seem to stick.
Day 9: Rapture: How can you open yourself to new experiences and insights?
Card: 5 of wands: Tackle them head-on, fight for what I think I deserve or simply get into an argument and experience the new experience of going to jail, maybe. But probably not 😉
Day 4 – Ecstasy – What makes your heart beat faster and your soul light up?
The Magician Rx: Creating things, even when they don’t work out and even when I feel like the energy is blocked and it just doesn’t work. I like making stuff, even when it looks terrible or doesn’t work. I like trying to think of ways to solve problems and make things look interesting. My newest dresser is a good example of beginner mod podge gone completely wrong. 🙂
The Dance – How can I free myself and express my inner passions?
The Tower Rx: Just let it all go- let the foundations of what used to bolster me that were weak in the first place, crumble. Not a bad card here, one that is instead telling you that sometimes faulty foundations need to crumble in order for you to build something anew.
The energy of Dionysus can be best welcomed into my life through reunion, partying, drinking with friends, and indulging in the warmth that both booze and friendship can bring. Yes. I’m on board.
I really need to clean up my space. I took a pile of stuff to my new house and now the things that I couldn’t take are piled up on my bed. At some point I’ll have to sleep in that bed.
Anyways.
Day 16: Today I will seek comfort in… The High Priestess Reversed.
I will seek comfort in the fact that I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen, where I’m going to end up or what on earth is going on because that’s part of the fun of being alive, I guess. Whooo boy it’s going to be tricky, because that ‘not knowing’ sense of anxiety creeps in at the best and worst possible times. I wish I knew how to like reliably let go, and be all Buddhist and kinda zen about it. Hopefully this is something that I can grow on more, and do more.
Day 14: Pull a card. What would this archetype find valuable or interesting about you?
Card: The Sun.
I think the Sun would appreciate my laugh and the way I dance when I’m eating something delicious. I think they would value my smile (which I’m not feeling today, but that’s ok, maybe tomorrow).
Life got busy- I had a couple of full days of work so here’s a bit of a catch up
Day 8:
My fears do not…
Queen of Wands/Rods: This card keeps popping up so I have to figure out what or who it’s trying to tell me about.
My fears do not minimize me. My fears don’t stop me from being outgoing and exploring the world. My fears do not hold me back (and I think 9/10 this is true, but it usually just leads to an overwhelming burst of anxiety and the inability to really enjoy whatever it is I’m afraid of, but…)
Day 9:
My confidence needs to know that…
9 of Cups (reversed): My confidence needs to know that it may be necessary to fake it until we make it, but I need to be careful not to overdo it. I need to focus on the quality of my experience and use those to build up my confidence.
Day 10: My pain does not…
6 of Swords Reversed: My pain doesn’t mean I have to try and run and hide- it doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who can help me. It also doesn’t run and hide from me. It makes itself known, it hits me in the face and shuts me down, so I’m unable to deal with or handle anything else besides it. I obsess over my pain, letting it drag me down sometimes and this isn’t something that I need to do. Instead I can share the burden with others- the ones in my boat.
Day 11:
Even when my shadow… that doesn’t mean…
Even when my shadow… Card: Justice: Even when my shadow weighs me down with judgement- perhaps fairly, perhaps unfairly. When it chooses black or white, binary options only.
…that does mean… Card: … Justice… again. ok DAMN. It doesn’t mean that it has to be black and white. It doesn’t mean that I actually do need to judge myself with a meter stick that I wouldn’t use with someone else. I don’t need to judge myself when I wouldn’t judge someone else like that.
Well. Snap. hahaha. What do your spreads look like?
Card: The Magician Reversed: Stop trying to force it and just let the magic come. This might even be more of a fake it ’til you make it sort of situation… ha.
The Magician from Tarot for All Ages
It’s funny because I feel generally like my life is lacking in something it used to have but it hasn’t had that thing for a very long time, and it’s hard to explain exactly what that thing is. In part, it’s a sort of connection to nature and connection to myself. In another way, it’s also how I used to be able to creatively express myself on the regular, but how that seems like so much more effort these days. It’s a complicated situation maybe, it’s hard to put into words.
Today I was doing some free practice tarot readings, just to get back into the groove of it, after being away from it for so long, and I felt like just leaning into my intuition as much as I could. It felt great for the first reading and then it felt a little bit like it started to falter. It’s weird how when I seem to look right at it, it disappears. I can only find this feeling or this emotion when I catch it out of the corner of my eye.
I’ll try to make more of an effort to find this in the future. 🙂
Day 2: I long for … and can get that with the help of…
Cards: I long for 7 of swords: I long for being able to get away with all the little secrets I want to explore. I’ve been living with my parents for so long, that I’ve begun to second guess what is and isn’t something I should be doing- a lot of the different concepts I’ve developed about morality, and what I think is socially appropriate are different from my parents. So maybe this is a little harkening to that concept.
7 of swords from Tarot for All Ages
… and can get that with the help of 7 of pentacles: waiting, patience and planning. That makes sense. It’ll be a few more months until I’ll move into my own place, and get to spread my wings again- find my own footing and rediscover what I think is important in life.
This is the challenge I’m going to attempt this month! The Tarot Diagnosis is a cool resource for using Tarot for self-care. They have a podcast, a symposium and a pretty interesting newsletter that they send out with spreads you can use. You can learn more about them here.
What has allowed this stress in my life to take root and grow? Ace of Wands Reversed. Confusion, miscommunications and arguments. Well…yeah… that’s stressful. lol
What is the core stressor in my life at this time that is under my control to change? Ace of cups: my emotions? Creativity, spirituality and intuition. I can control how I feel and react to things, I can control empathetic gazes and looking at things with new eyes.
What can I do right now to help ease my stress and anxiety related to this issue? 8 of pentacles reversed- chill out. Don’t worry about all the little details- broad strokes will take away some of the stress and worry. At the same time, I need to get to it and just do it and get it done.
Card: Two of Wands: I can give myself options, and ideas, make plans for the future and show up for myself in whatever way I can.
Day 17: Where can I be more generous with myself today?
Card: Ten of cups RX: I can be kinder on myself regarding the mistakes I’ve made with relationships and the friendship issues I’ve had in the past. I can be kinder to myself on the cringe moments that I think about- everyone has them. Not just me.
This comes from a creativity prompt on the discord server I’ve mentioned before (a great resource! All are welcome!). The Hanged Man is represented in a variety of different ways, depending on what or how the deck creator wants it to look like. Each version gives different insights into the meaning of the card and the ways you could choose to read them.
Have a look at some of my Hanged Man cards.
My more traditional Rider Waite Smith connected decks look like this:
RWS Versions: Tarot for all ages (purple one, called Surrender): Birds carry this person away over the sea, where they seem to have no troubles, worries or fears. I read this (and many of my others) quite positively- it’s a call to let yourself be free (maybe connect to inner peace, like the white birds carrying the person away from their ‘sea of troubles’), and let whatever happen.
This Might Hurt: Here we have a lot of nature/woodsy imagery: two trees combine to hold up the hanged man, a bird rests on his leg akimbo, flowers and a sun hitting the horizon shine behind his head. This card seems almost more meditative, stop and let everything go, connect to nature, connect within yourself- I read this as a bit pushier- encouraging the reader to stop and reflect within themselves- the precision of the limbs, the plaid lumberjack vibe and this person in the forest makes me feel like he’s working at letting things go.
The Hidden Light Tarot: A monk suspended in prayer, there is tight control here.
It feels as though the monk has put himself in this position for a purpose. He is putting himself through this physical test to help himself. I would read this card as inspirational- what can you do to find this sense of control and peace? To what lengths can you push yourself to let go? You have to do the work here.
One of my decks that strays from the RWS images is the Transient Light Tarot: The anchor hangs upside down- an impossible feat- if your anchor isn’t working, then surely you must feel lighter- releasing what is holding you down, or at the very least, turning it upside down to get a new perspective on it. It’s resting in your hands as well, making me read it as if it is entirely within your grasp to see things from the other side- to see things in a different way, or even to let the weight of life lift off your shoulders. I read this as more of you know what you need to do, and it’s easier than you think. You can let it go- it’s all in your hands.
What does the Hanged Man look like in your deck? How do you read it?
Day 4: How can I best embrace and embody my carefree spirit in the present moment?
Card: The Wheel of Fortune Rx (reversed): What carefree spirit? LOL I need to reflect back on my past actions- maybe I can use them for inspiration. Remember times when I was more carefree and fun-loving. Embrace that moment.
Day 5: Where can I infuse more playfulness and curiosity in my approach to life?
Card: 3 of cups- this is my second three of cups within an hour lol- I guess I have to meet up with folks and party a bit more. Let my hair down. Worry less.
Day 6: What can I engage in to bring more joy into my life right now? Draw up to 3 cards.
Cards: 3 of Swords, Guardian (Queen) of Wands Rx, and 5 of cups: I’ve been hurt and suffered loss (who hasn’t), and those painful moments have caused me to limit what I can feel for others, how close I let them get, and how much I share with them. I believe that very few people can be trusted, and I need to look towards breaking out of that mentality and learning to forgive others and myself. I need to reestablish my sense of self, my sense of purpose and not remove boundaries but instead assess how those boundaries help and hinder me.
The deck used today is a bootlegged copy of the Spacious Tarot (a gift from someone who didn’t know it was a knock-off). I like the imagery in the Spacious Tarot, and I think if you’re on the hunt for human-free images, this is a good one!
Madame Starbeam's Tarot Journey 