Busy couple of days at work (and the rest of the month bodes more of this to come), but let’s crack on, shall we?
Day 17: I will care for my body today through…
Card: 5 of wands reversed. Finding peace. Taking in peace and relaxation. Being calm and relaxing where I can. Not finding arguments where they don’t exist.
Day 18: Today I will allow…
Card: The Fool! Wandering, journeying, taking new steps, trying new things, not letting old ideas and old misconceptions hold me down or hold me back! Yes! I will totally allow it. Did I allow it by buying a bedspread? MAYBE?? Did I allow it by backing a new Kickstarter, which gives me anxiety because money? YES??? I THINK MAYBE HAHAHA?
I really need to clean up my space. I took a pile of stuff to my new house and now the things that I couldn’t take are piled up on my bed. At some point I’ll have to sleep in that bed.
Anyways.
Day 16: Today I will seek comfort in… The High Priestess Reversed.
I will seek comfort in the fact that I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen, where I’m going to end up or what on earth is going on because that’s part of the fun of being alive, I guess. Whooo boy it’s going to be tricky, because that ‘not knowing’ sense of anxiety creeps in at the best and worst possible times. I wish I knew how to like reliably let go, and be all Buddhist and kinda zen about it. Hopefully this is something that I can grow on more, and do more.
Day 14: Pull a card. What would this archetype find valuable or interesting about you?
Card: The Sun.
I think the Sun would appreciate my laugh and the way I dance when I’m eating something delicious. I think they would value my smile (which I’m not feeling today, but that’s ok, maybe tomorrow).
Card: I had two jumpers here (cards that pop out while you’re shuffling) so I’m reading them both:
The Magician and the Page of Pentacles: I’m reading this as a relationship that I tried to turn into something more than what it ever needed to be, and having it crash and burn. It’s on point. This is very specific to me, but the person feels very much like a page of pentacles (or maybe a knight really), and the magician connects nicely with manifesting and making things happen.
If I wasn’t reading this for me, it could be something like manifesting material wealth and good stuff, new grounding energies, but I don’t know why you would need to forgive yourself for that. 🙂
Yikes on bikes with the pointedness of this monthly challenge, y’all. It’s good but damn.
I do… to avoid… (not looking forward to digging through this pull).
I do… 8 of pentacles: work hard, push myself to be better, work harder and accomplish my goals.
…to avoid… 3 of cups reversed: excess, isolation and loneliness, and I think the upright meaning too, friendship, community building and meeting new people.
Not a lot to unpack here- it is exactly this. I do it all under the guise of needing to make money to get by, but I think I could probably have a better handle on that.
Life got busy- I had a couple of full days of work so here’s a bit of a catch up
Day 8:
My fears do not…
Queen of Wands/Rods: This card keeps popping up so I have to figure out what or who it’s trying to tell me about.
My fears do not minimize me. My fears don’t stop me from being outgoing and exploring the world. My fears do not hold me back (and I think 9/10 this is true, but it usually just leads to an overwhelming burst of anxiety and the inability to really enjoy whatever it is I’m afraid of, but…)
Day 9:
My confidence needs to know that…
9 of Cups (reversed): My confidence needs to know that it may be necessary to fake it until we make it, but I need to be careful not to overdo it. I need to focus on the quality of my experience and use those to build up my confidence.
Day 10: My pain does not…
6 of Swords Reversed: My pain doesn’t mean I have to try and run and hide- it doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who can help me. It also doesn’t run and hide from me. It makes itself known, it hits me in the face and shuts me down, so I’m unable to deal with or handle anything else besides it. I obsess over my pain, letting it drag me down sometimes and this isn’t something that I need to do. Instead I can share the burden with others- the ones in my boat.
Day 11:
Even when my shadow… that doesn’t mean…
Even when my shadow… Card: Justice: Even when my shadow weighs me down with judgement- perhaps fairly, perhaps unfairly. When it chooses black or white, binary options only.
…that does mean… Card: … Justice… again. ok DAMN. It doesn’t mean that it has to be black and white. It doesn’t mean that I actually do need to judge myself with a meter stick that I wouldn’t use with someone else. I don’t need to judge myself when I wouldn’t judge someone else like that.
Well. Snap. hahaha. What do your spreads look like?
Pull two cards. If these cards were your biggest supporters what would they say to you?
Cards:
3 of Wands and 7 of Wands
Keep moving forward, don’t let the haters get you down- you can take them. Your battles are not insurmountable, you can explore wherever and whatever you want. Don’t be afraid to conquer the world.
(I was hoping I was going to get the Devil, so it would just be SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha).
Cards: Success (The Chipmunk and Laurel) and Determination (The Ram and Dahlia)
Success and Determination from the Woodland Wardens Oracle deck
My anxiety isn’t going to lead to or destroy my success. It just is. It may slow me down, but in what ways can I be victorious over it, or against it. My anxiety may be determined but it will not last forever, it will not climb every mountain and bloom into every season. It can be overcome.
Being stable, being self-sufficient, being able to provide for my own needs and my own concerns. This is true. This is something I set as a sort of bench mark for myself. I want to be able to be my own sustainable person. I hope that one day I’ll be able to make it happen even more than I am already.
Card: The Magician Reversed: Stop trying to force it and just let the magic come. This might even be more of a fake it ’til you make it sort of situation… ha.
The Magician from Tarot for All Ages
It’s funny because I feel generally like my life is lacking in something it used to have but it hasn’t had that thing for a very long time, and it’s hard to explain exactly what that thing is. In part, it’s a sort of connection to nature and connection to myself. In another way, it’s also how I used to be able to creatively express myself on the regular, but how that seems like so much more effort these days. It’s a complicated situation maybe, it’s hard to put into words.
Today I was doing some free practice tarot readings, just to get back into the groove of it, after being away from it for so long, and I felt like just leaning into my intuition as much as I could. It felt great for the first reading and then it felt a little bit like it started to falter. It’s weird how when I seem to look right at it, it disappears. I can only find this feeling or this emotion when I catch it out of the corner of my eye.
I’ll try to make more of an effort to find this in the future. 🙂
I’m going to use Oracle cards for this one today. It feels right.
I can be: The Dragonfly and Pansy: Balance … and still: The Bear and Cedar: leadership.
Woodland Wardens Oracle
This is a nice one. I often feel like people in leadership feel like they have to be hard asses- they have to rule with an iron fist. They can’t be kind or friendly with the people who work under them- and I think this is bullshit. I’m sure it’s possible to lead without being domineering and unkind. I’m sure you can be a leader and show leadership while still being a human, who is accessible. Not just a company slave. This spread makes me happy because I’m going to be in a leadership role this summer, and I want to be the kind of leader that people enjoy, not the kind who makes people feel like garbage.
Day 2: I long for … and can get that with the help of…
Cards: I long for 7 of swords: I long for being able to get away with all the little secrets I want to explore. I’ve been living with my parents for so long, that I’ve begun to second guess what is and isn’t something I should be doing- a lot of the different concepts I’ve developed about morality, and what I think is socially appropriate are different from my parents. So maybe this is a little harkening to that concept.
7 of swords from Tarot for All Ages
… and can get that with the help of 7 of pentacles: waiting, patience and planning. That makes sense. It’ll be a few more months until I’ll move into my own place, and get to spread my wings again- find my own footing and rediscover what I think is important in life.
What has allowed this stress in my life to take root and grow? Ace of Wands Reversed. Confusion, miscommunications and arguments. Well…yeah… that’s stressful. lol
What is the core stressor in my life at this time that is under my control to change? Ace of cups: my emotions? Creativity, spirituality and intuition. I can control how I feel and react to things, I can control empathetic gazes and looking at things with new eyes.
What can I do right now to help ease my stress and anxiety related to this issue? 8 of pentacles reversed- chill out. Don’t worry about all the little details- broad strokes will take away some of the stress and worry. At the same time, I need to get to it and just do it and get it done.
Here’s the spread for this week. Notice how we’re looking here for similarity and patterns, which is a good way to start to read a spread- not just card by card and trying to slam them together. This is something I struggle with sometimes- I’ve seen some really great readers who connect these amazingly well!
So, no question in particular in mind, here’s my spread.
Cards: The Moon, Two of Swords, Two of Cups
Hmm ok let’s look at the similarities and patterns we can see:
I’m always drawn to colour, so what stands out to me here is the blue and the yellow. We’ve got blue mountains and a blue body of water in the moon, with a bright yellow moon in the sky. There’s a large blue background in the 2 of Swords, with bright yellow sleeves on our blindfolded figure. And the last flash of blue of a sleeve on one of our drinkers (both of which are holding yellow cups).
There’s no direct eye contact in any of these cards with the reader or the querent. In fact vision is deliberately disconnected with a blindfold.
There’s also a hell of a lot of symmetry in these cards- the 2 of swords could be cut down the middle and both sides are almost entirely even. The moon, too, has two towers, two dogs and a lobster with outstretched claws. The two of cups has two folks linked together on their side- looking rather intensely at each other.
We’ve also got two moons- a small sliver of a moon in the 2 of swords- the kind of daytime moon you see sometimes. Love it.
There’s a kind of intensity in this spread- like an intense aversion- a refusal to see something, and a layer of deception from the first card in this spread. What should I be paying attention to? What should I be looking at?
There’s some kind of difficult choice I need to make and I can’t make it/it’s difficult to make because there’s something in the way- something that I’m refusing to look at or something that I simply haven’t been able to see yet because it’s been hidden from me. This decision could be about a partnership of some kind, or there could be someone close to me who could help me see what I can’t.
What do you think? What similarities can you see? How would you read this?
Here we go folks! Another spread from the amazing Twist the Leaf/Tarotholics discord:
OK I’m not sure if my dumbass will suffer from information overload with two cards for each for extra credit, but we’re gonna give it a hook. I encourage you to give me feedback if you’re reading this- tell me if you see something I don’t! 😀
Here’s my spread:
What positive qualities do I have that others admire?
Cards: Four of Pentacles (rx) and Queen of Wands (rx): I’m generous with my emotions or at least I’ve got the spirit but I’m a little confused when it comes to action and putting plans into place- I’m generous with my time and emotions, but I can get stuck within certain pursuits and carry things forward in an intense way.
What positive qualities do I wish I had that I admire in others?
Cards: The Moon (rx) and The Devil: I wish I could get lost in excess and not regret it, that I could convince myself of some positive misconceptions that would make my life easier. I admire the way others can fully trust and empower themselves through their intuition.
What step(s) can I take now to work toward developing that quality in myself?
Cards: Ace of Pentacles and The Chariot: I should use material elements in life (maybe physical self-care, the earth) to push myself forward into tapping into my intuition. Or I should spend more money on new indulgences to obtain the excess of the Devil’s vibe? I mean, usually, this deck tells me not to do that, so I think it might be getting more in touch with new jobs/work/nature/growing opportunities that are coming up soon.
What step(s) can I take to make the positive qualities I already have shine brightly?
Cards: Eight of Swords (rx) and Nine of Swords: Surrender to what is coming and understand that the anxiety I’m bound to face in thinking I’m not good enough or I can’t provide for others or I’m not doing a good job; this is counterproductive but unavoidable. Feel it, and let it go. I am the only one who will put myself through it and also the only one who will stop myself from going through it.
I used the This Might Hurt tarot deck, which is available for purchase in a new limited edition now, I believe. It’s a fabulous deck 🙂
I liked this challenge! Let me know if you do it and what you get out of it!
Madame Starbeam's Tarot Journey 