Tarot for self care and self exploration. A place to learn, develop and explore tarot.
Author: Heather
Heather is a lost member of a travelling circus (also known in the common vernacular as an English Teacher) who somehow found herself in writing online. She is originally from Canada and enjoys eating out and cooking creative meals for herself (though she prefers the former and often burns the latter). Some of her favorite dishes include Sapi Rendang, Chiburek, and deep-fried ice cream. She makes a mean pumpkin loaf.
Lucet in Aurora Tarotβs Death and Rebirth Day 2: The Vineyard – Which aspect of yourself must you let go of to make room for new growth?
The Knight of Cups: I have to let go of more lofty ideals and the urge to make everything okay with everyone else- less mediation, more enforcing boundaries and standing up for myself. Not one of the easier things to do, let me tell you!
The energy of Dionysus can be best welcomed into my life through reunion, partying, drinking with friends, and indulging in the warmth that both booze and friendship can bring. Yes. I’m on board.
This month’s challenge comes from Lucet.in.aurora.tarot, a very cool Instagram account from the Netherlands. I’m starting back at school and with a few new companies and classes this year, so you already know I’m going to be lagging behind! That being said- check out her Instagram or her website here to follow along!
Card 1: Practicing : Page of Swords- practicing rushing into a situation, guns blazing, ready to take on new intellectual challenges and taking on new academic projects.
Card 2: …will allow me to… King of Wands/Rods reversed- be pushy, be the boss, be cut-throat and reflect on what kind of authority I’m comfortable exerting.
I like this. I feel like one of the things that I need to start working on and that will be something I need to have a good handle on with what I’m studying this Fall, is my ability to guide conversations and lead people and be the boss of inspiring people to be the boss of themselves, and I’m not too sure of exactly when I’ll know how to step in or when not to step in… I feel like I’m rambling here, but that’s the general vibe. There is a lot I need to learn about levels of authority within the job I’d like to have. Hopefully, this will be good for me!
Respecting my boundaries and not allowing myself to be intentionally messed about by others who are not trying to achieve my goals. I will allow myself to be selfish with my time, my needs, my worries, my desires.
Busy couple of days at work (and the rest of the month bodes more of this to come), but let’s crack on, shall we?
Day 17: I will care for my body today through…
Card: 5 of wands reversed. Finding peace. Taking in peace and relaxation. Being calm and relaxing where I can. Not finding arguments where they don’t exist.
Day 18: Today I will allow…
Card: The Fool! Wandering, journeying, taking new steps, trying new things, not letting old ideas and old misconceptions hold me down or hold me back! Yes! I will totally allow it. Did I allow it by buying a bedspread? MAYBE?? Did I allow it by backing a new Kickstarter, which gives me anxiety because money? YES??? I THINK MAYBE HAHAHA?
I really need to clean up my space. I took a pile of stuff to my new house and now the things that I couldn’t take are piled up on my bed. At some point I’ll have to sleep in that bed.
Anyways.
Day 16: Today I will seek comfort in… The High Priestess Reversed.
I will seek comfort in the fact that I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen, where I’m going to end up or what on earth is going on because that’s part of the fun of being alive, I guess. Whooo boy it’s going to be tricky, because that ‘not knowing’ sense of anxiety creeps in at the best and worst possible times. I wish I knew how to like reliably let go, and be all Buddhist and kinda zen about it. Hopefully this is something that I can grow on more, and do more.
My total attention, my focus, and to be attended to 100%. Or my pain is looking for the reversed side of this card, which is to be let got and released. I’m not sure.
I’m sorry I’m so snotty. Every possible tree is in bloom and my nose is kicking off- it started on my walk this morning and it seems to have just gotten worse as the day has progressed. LAWD.
Day 14: Pull a card. What would this archetype find valuable or interesting about you?
Card: The Sun.
I think the Sun would appreciate my laugh and the way I dance when I’m eating something delicious. I think they would value my smile (which I’m not feeling today, but that’s ok, maybe tomorrow).
Card: I had two jumpers here (cards that pop out while you’re shuffling) so I’m reading them both:
The Magician and the Page of Pentacles: I’m reading this as a relationship that I tried to turn into something more than what it ever needed to be, and having it crash and burn. It’s on point. This is very specific to me, but the person feels very much like a page of pentacles (or maybe a knight really), and the magician connects nicely with manifesting and making things happen.
If I wasn’t reading this for me, it could be something like manifesting material wealth and good stuff, new grounding energies, but I don’t know why you would need to forgive yourself for that. π
Yikes on bikes with the pointedness of this monthly challenge, y’all. It’s good but damn.
I do… to avoid… (not looking forward to digging through this pull).
I do… 8 of pentacles: work hard, push myself to be better, work harder and accomplish my goals.
…to avoid… 3 of cups reversed: excess, isolation and loneliness, and I think the upright meaning too, friendship, community building and meeting new people.
Not a lot to unpack here- it is exactly this. I do it all under the guise of needing to make money to get by, but I think I could probably have a better handle on that.
Life got busy- I had a couple of full days of work so here’s a bit of a catch up
Day 8:
My fears do not…
Queen of Wands/Rods: This card keeps popping up so I have to figure out what or who it’s trying to tell me about.
My fears do not minimize me. My fears don’t stop me from being outgoing and exploring the world. My fears do not hold me back (and I think 9/10 this is true, but it usually just leads to an overwhelming burst of anxiety and the inability to really enjoy whatever it is I’m afraid of, but…)
Day 9:
My confidence needs to know that…
9 of Cups (reversed): My confidence needs to know that it may be necessary to fake it until we make it, but I need to be careful not to overdo it. I need to focus on the quality of my experience and use those to build up my confidence.
Day 10: My pain does not…
6 of Swords Reversed: My pain doesn’t mean I have to try and run and hide- it doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who can help me. It also doesn’t run and hide from me. It makes itself known, it hits me in the face and shuts me down, so I’m unable to deal with or handle anything else besides it. I obsess over my pain, letting it drag me down sometimes and this isn’t something that I need to do. Instead I can share the burden with others- the ones in my boat.
Day 11:
Even when my shadow… that doesn’t mean…
Even when my shadow… Card: Justice: Even when my shadow weighs me down with judgement- perhaps fairly, perhaps unfairly. When it chooses black or white, binary options only.
…that does mean… Card: … Justice… again. ok DAMN. It doesn’t mean that it has to be black and white. It doesn’t mean that I actually do need to judge myself with a meter stick that I wouldn’t use with someone else. I don’t need to judge myself when I wouldn’t judge someone else like that.
Well. Snap. hahaha. What do your spreads look like?
Pull two cards. If these cards were your biggest supporters what would they say to you?
Cards:
3 of Wands and 7 of Wands
Keep moving forward, don’t let the haters get you down- you can take them. Your battles are not insurmountable, you can explore wherever and whatever you want. Don’t be afraid to conquer the world.
(I was hoping I was going to get the Devil, so it would just be SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha).
Cards: Success (The Chipmunk and Laurel) and Determination (The Ram and Dahlia)
Success and Determination from the Woodland Wardens Oracle deck
My anxiety isn’t going to lead to or destroy my success. It just is. It may slow me down, but in what ways can I be victorious over it, or against it. My anxiety may be determined but it will not last forever, it will not climb every mountain and bloom into every season. It can be overcome.